Whenever I visit New York City, one of my favorite activities is trying to pick up on all the latest fashion trends. It seems as though almost everyone in the city has a sense of style, and is not afraid to express it. But never in my wildest dreams did I imagine that I might actually be the one to start a fashion trend. It appears that there is a first time for everything.
Vivian and I were on our way to see what would be one of the most amazing art exhibits ever at the Whitney (Tim Hawkinson), when I noticed something sticking out of a garbage can. It was an old wooden walking cane that had been carelessly tossed away. The stain was all chipped and rubbed off from years of use. Of course, I was instantly intrigued.
“Viv! Check out that cane in the trash. I need that!”
“What? Okay, you’re joking, right? You are not going to dig a nasty old used cane out of the trash and start walking around Manhattan with it.”
“Why not? It’s totally cool! Look – you know there are people who are paid to scout out new street fashion – I could start the next trend. Versace will be making pimp canes next fall, I guarantee it.”
I was convinced that this cane could become my signature. No longer would I have to be just that curly-haired girl. Now it could be:
“Which one is Jenny?”
“You know – she’s that girl who walks with a bad-ass cane like Dolemite.”
“Oh yeah! She’s so cool. I wish I could be her friend.”
That could be me.
Vivian got a stern look on her face and said, “Seriously, Jenny. I don’t know how they do things in Chicago, but here in New York, normal, sane people do not fish germ-infested broken down canes out of the trash and pretend that they are high fashion.”
As I was preparing my rebuttal, which started out with a commentary on how Vivian did know how they do things in Chicago since she grew up here, out of the corner of my eye I saw two Latina teenagers walk up near us and start talking. The one with the blonde and red highlights spied my cane in the garbage can, snatched it out, and started doing the exact same pimp walk that I planned on doing once I had Purell-ed the handle of the cane.
“Yo – check out my pimp cane!”
“That’s cool. Take it!”
“No shit.”
Vivian was still rambling on about what is and is not appropriate New York behavior as it relates to trash cans, when I bugged my eyes out at her and nodded in the direction of the hipster youths.
“So… tell me again how people do things in New York?”
“Okay, well… Jenny. Those were kids. You need to hold yourself to a little higher standard.”
“You just don’t get it, do you? Of course they’re kids, because kids always start the cutting edge fashion trends. They have a sixth sense for this kind of thing. It’s just like Tyra Banks always says – if you want to make it in the fashion business, you need to be fierce! That cane was fierce, Viv. I could’ve been fierce, for once in my life. Fee-erce!”
For the rest of my trip, everywhere we went we saw people carrying hip canes. I would make a point to call Vivian’s attention to them wherever we were.
“Cane, ten o’clock.”
“Man with dog-head cane coming out of Starbucks.”
“Eight women with canes, Viv. Eight – count ‘em.”
“Jenny – that’s a nursing home.”
“Still, you see my point.”
“Fine! I promise I will NEVER stop you from dumpster diving in New York City again. Are you happy?”
“That’s all I wanted.”
So on my next trip to New York, I’ll be ready for the trend scouts. I’ll be scouring all the trash bins and alleyways for the next hot fashion trend. Maybe you’ll see me pushing a broken walker, perhaps sporting a stained neck-brace, or even dangling a used inhaler around my neck.
But as god is my witness, I will never, ever miss my chance to be fierce again.

Filed under: Postcards from New York on March 11th, 2005