Oh god. The story I have for you? I can’t connect the words into coherent sentences:

blue men
gems
warsteiner
poppin’
biscuits
gold
joy

All the ingredients for an unforgettable evening. So listen to this for now, but be prepared to crank up the speakers and rock your body like your momma told ya: Leslie and the Lys.

Details to come.

Filed under: Leslie and the Lys on January 10th, 2006 | 7 Comments »

Okay, this time I think the date will stick. It will. It will stick. But I’m not engraving any invitations this time – it’s eVite all the way!

What: TequilaCon ‘06
When: April 21-23, 2006 [Main Event will be April 22]
Where: New York City, NY
Who: Still everyone. Yes, that means you, too!
Why: How else would we celebrate the week after Easter if not by consuming obscene amounts of tequila?

For those of you who still need convincing, go here for the history. And if you haven’t RSVP’d already, let me know if you’re interested in joining the fun! Exit polls indicate that anywhere from 3 to 50 bloggers will be there. The question is: can you afford not to go?

Filed under: TequilaCon on January 9th, 2006 | 17 Comments »

On Christmas Eve, I was sitting on the couch with my five year old nephew watching A Christmas Story, which had been playing for 24 hours straight, when it came to the infamous swearing scene. The main character is helping his dad fix a flat tire when he suddenly drops all the lug nuts in the snow and screams, in slow motion, “Ohhhh fuuuuuddddgggge!” But he didn’t really say “fudge.”
“Aunt Jenny, why did that boy get in so much trouble for saying ‘fudge?’ Is that a bad word?”
“No… it’s not. But, I don’t think he really said ‘fudge.’ I think he said a swear word.”
“Oh. What one?”
“A really, really bad one.”
“What is it?”
“It’s too bad. I can’t even say it.”
“Just say it. I won’t tell anyone. I promise!”
“I can’t. Really – it’s just a bad, bad word.”
A few minutes later, Adam looked over at me and said, “Was it the ‘F’ word? I bet it was the ‘F’ word.”
I choked a bit on the cookie I was eating, and then asked, “How do you know about the ‘F’ word? Who told you that?”
“I don’t know. I think maybe it was daddy. It’s like oh, fuuu… right? But I can’t say the end part. But it’s like oh, fuuu… right Aunt Jenny?”
“Okay, that’s enough of that. Here. Eat some fudge.”
I got off pretty easy with this one, since I’ve accidentally flipped on some highly inappropriate TV shows in the presence of my nephews, like the Real World Marathon. (“Why are those people taking their clothes off in the hot tub? Is that her husband? Why are those two girls kissing?”)
For a moment or two, I worried about scarring the poor boy for life, but then I remembered that my mother took my brother and me to see Animal House when I was seven years old and he was nine. She then promptly paraded us back out of the theater as soon as one of the myriad sex scenes began, peppered with many an Oh, fuuu…. To this day she swears she didn’t know what the movie was about: “But John Belushi was always so funny as the Samurai guy on SNL! And they kept showing food fights in the previews.”
I started to ask some friends of mine about their most awkward movie experiences and we collectively compiled a list. A list which shall launch the first Opinion Poll!™ of 2006.
Question: What is your most awkward, squirm-inducing movie watching moment?

1. Watching Blue Velvet with your parents because you just loved that Twin Peaks show. Yeah. Twin Peaks didn’t have Dennis Hopper sniffing nitrous oxide while having sex with Isabella Rossellini and screaming “Mommy!” [submitted by Jenny]
2. Seeing your mother laugh a bit too enthusiastically at the When Harry Met Sally orgasm scene. Because really, do any of us want to know that our parents even know what an orgasm is? [submitted by Nat]
3. Bringing a first date to see Kids. There’s nothing like a sweet tale of HIV positive teenagers having drunken, drugged out sex fests to make a good first impression on a girl. [submitted by Seamus]
4. Watching The Brown Bunny alone and feeling so sick when you realize that the final sequence in the film is essentially full-on porn. [submitted by Dr. Greene]
5. Recommending Body Heat to a client because of the amazing plot twists, forgetting that 75% of the movie involves Kathleen Turner in various sexual positions. [submitted by Jenny, as experienced by someone who might have been her mother]
6. Other – please explain. [submitted by you]
   

   Filed under: Opinion Poll on January 3rd, 2006 | 36 Comments »