And Now, A Message From Sally Struthers
For less than the cost of a cup of coffee a day, you could help Mr. Lionel Richie get the prosthetic arms and legs he needs so that he can live a normal cat life. Won’t you please open your hearts and your wallets?
Miss Dionne Warwick, however, is a lost cause. You really have to want to be helped.
Filed under: General on April 14th, 2006
April 13th, 2006 at 9:05 pm
i just opened my wallet, but sadly no prosthetic cat limbs were to be found. could either of your deformed animals use, say, a mapquest print out of directions to The Sports Authority?
oh, i guess probably not. awkward.
April 13th, 2006 at 10:46 pm
If I donate do I get monthly updates including pictures and written letters from my orph…cat?
April 13th, 2006 at 10:56 pm
That’s not a cat. It’s a potato with some freaky growth.
April 13th, 2006 at 11:10 pm
What the hell happened to those innocent furry babies since I left you?!
April 13th, 2006 at 11:14 pm
brandon: Oh, what a nice offer! Maybe I’ll bring my cats to Sports Authority so I can buy them some new rollerblades… oh wait. THAT’S RIGHT! THEY DON’T HAVE LEGS. REALLY NICE, BRANDON!
Dustin: Yes, you’ll receive a personalized letter, as dictated to me, about how they’re doing in school, new friends, hobbies, etc. Give until it hurts.
Karen: I know – I think I left them under the kitchen sink a little too long.
Jess: They kept asking, “When’s Jessica coming back? Why does she hate us so much? Is it because I hissed in her face five times in a row?” and then they started gnawing off their own limbs. I hope you can sleep at night.
April 14th, 2006 at 8:08 am
Even though you don’t see them, those little feets are paddling like the Dickens under the surface. Therefore you should watch this:
http://www.heavy.com/heavy.php?videoPath=/content/afv/flash_video/AFHV_TalkingCats
April 14th, 2006 at 9:23 am
i hate to say it but. . .it appears that dionne needs more than sally’s help. possibly a priest to perform an exorcism. look at those red eyes. i think she might be posessed.
sizz
p.s. i am sure dionne is a lovely kitty.
April 14th, 2006 at 10:12 am
Yikes! When those pictures popped up first thought it was one of those ‘Do you see two faces or a vase?’ thing.
Then I thought it was a closeup of a procedure from Dr. 90210.
April 14th, 2006 at 10:26 am
Where is the Sally Struthers cat?
April 14th, 2006 at 11:14 am
Well, now I know what to get them for Christmas:
http://handicappedpets.com/gallery/gideon9/index.htm
April 14th, 2006 at 12:24 pm
bobby: I tried to open it, but heard some cat screeching “hello” and had to close the window before my co-workers thought i was insane. i’ll check it out tonight – thanks!
sizz: no, you were right the first time. she’s possessed!
peggasus: hmm. sometimes i see an old lady, and sometimes i see a young woman in a hat. what does that mean?
mrs mogul: she’s in an air-conditioned trailer eating a catered meal.
jess: would you please get mr. lionel richie three regular legs and one peg leg? I’ve always wanted a pirate cat.
April 14th, 2006 at 12:56 pm
Jenny,
Only if he dons the whole attire:
http://www.costumesinc.com/Costumes/images/medium/PirateKitty.jpg
April 14th, 2006 at 2:17 pm
That’s the problem. You get a pet. You love the pet. Next thing you know, your pet is without arms and legs. Prosthetic cat arms and legs (or peg legs) aren’t cheap. Before you know it, you have to have a telethon. You need to throw a benefit gala. You need a celebrity spokesperson.
This is exactly why I don’t have cats. Too much heartache. It’s a slippery slope and you, my friend, have fallen.
April 15th, 2006 at 7:51 am
jess: as I mentioned to you earlier, I would most certainly need a prosthetic limb after trying to put that pirate hat on my cats. It would not be pretty.
Scarlett: You’ve hit the nail on the head. They never tell you about the benefit galas when you ooh and ahh over kittens at the Humane Society. And good luck finding a Hollywood celebrity willing to don a gown for a legless cat. Apparently it’s just not a glamorous enough cause. Bastards.
April 15th, 2006 at 9:57 am
Your cats may have no arms or legs. They may have no prosthetic arms or legs. But you, Jenny, have a heart.
April 15th, 2006 at 10:28 am
I would be more concerned with their fire red demonic eyes. What evil plan are these legless wonders plotting?
April 15th, 2006 at 6:04 pm
Um, my kid’s baseball team needs something to use for second base. I don’t suppose your cats would like to volunteer? I mean, even legless cats can do something meaningful for the community at large if they have the volunteer spirit.
April 16th, 2006 at 8:02 am
From the look of them, good luck trying to put the prosthetics on, even. They have the look of Kitties Who Consort With Beelzebub, bless their little black hearts. Adorable. I totally pledge.
April 17th, 2006 at 8:58 am
I had a witty comment all prepared… and then I saw the newest hedgehog on Cute Overload and lost all language skills. Beh. Sner. Gah.
April 17th, 2006 at 2:10 pm
Scarlett: Awww, shucks.
4of5: World domination, plain and simple.
Shari: And weren’t you the one who called PETA on me for letting my cats devour that little chick? Sheesh.
Tracy Lynn: Thank you for your pledge. You will receive your personalized letter, pentagram mousepad, and false idols collector’s set in 6-8 weeks.
Sween: AAAAGHHHHHH! You know how I love the hogs!! I can’t stand it – he’s on a computer!
April 17th, 2006 at 7:17 pm
Hey, Peeple starts with Peeps, okay? And anyway, it was PETP that I alerted. Haven’t they contacted you yet?
July 28th, 2006 at 9:31 pm
No thanks, Sally Struthers will most likely eat the arms!