Guilt
I was pretty drunk at the time, so some of the details are foggy, but once, a couple of years ago, this old man… god, this is really hard for me to talk about.
All right, here goes: I was at a party, and this old man, he played one. He… he played knick knack on my thumb.
On my friggin’ thumb, dammit!
When he went for my shoe, I kicked him square in the jaw. He stumbled a bit, then fell to the floor. I might have killed him… I’m not sure. I just gave his dog a bone and got the hell out of there.
Never looked back.
Filed under: General on November 17th, 2006
November 16th, 2006 at 9:22 pm
You did the right thing. Had you let him continue, who knows what he might have tried next? A knick? A knack? A patty…well you get the picture.
November 16th, 2006 at 10:07 pm
sometimes its better to admit our sins than blah blah blah.
November 17th, 2006 at 12:17 am
Please don’t tell me there was any paddy whacking going on. I hope you weren’t THAT drunk…
November 17th, 2006 at 5:54 am
Wait: you feel guilty about a little knick-knack (with or without paddy-whack), but you totally gloss over giving a dog a bone?
O Tempes! O Mores!
November 17th, 2006 at 6:34 am
Dustin: The monster had to be stopped!
kat: Usually, I like to tuck them deep down inside to keep my belly warm at night.
churlita: You weren’t there! You don’t understand!
Hap: Seemed like the right thing to do…
November 17th, 2006 at 7:49 am
You’re killing me! Clever, clever.
November 17th, 2006 at 8:08 am
I dunno, Jen…I hear people pay good money for the ol’ knick knack these days. You should have given the old guy a chance.
November 17th, 2006 at 9:42 am
Oh I’m sure he was fine. He probably just went rolling home.
November 17th, 2006 at 10:21 am
Jenny, you’re suffering from nursery-rhyme induced phantom memory syndrome, or “NRI-PMS”. It’s a very serious condition, and once begun, can progress to hallucinations, homicidal ideation and obsessive bean-stalk climbing. I’m really worried about you.
November 17th, 2006 at 12:03 pm
You’re sumpthin’ special, girl. I think I love you.
November 17th, 2006 at 12:09 pm
Rhea: No – don’t die!
Chase: Well, I’m not one to turn down a little knick and a lot of knack now and then, but dude – on my thumb?
heather anne: LOLOL!
shari: Now that you mention it, I have had this mad crazy taste for curds and whey lately…
peefer: you know I would profess my undying love for you here, for all the world to see, but the last time I did that, your wife called me a home-wrecking blogger slut. She’s not in a roller derby, is she?
November 17th, 2006 at 3:05 pm
Jenny, that day was of infamy, no doubt.
November 17th, 2006 at 4:03 pm
God, I LOVE learning about the inspirational origins of my favorite music. I think this needs a Wikipedia entry. Paddy whack.
November 18th, 2006 at 4:11 pm
Why don’t I remember the word “hell” in there when I was taught that rhyme back in my kindergarten days? Did I miss something?