Classy Broads
In my tireless pursuit of becoming interesting, I decided to begin taking a photography class last week. Our first assignment is to take between 40-50 pictures of essentially anything, as long as we’re using the correct exposure.
My next class is this Thursday, and so far, I have about 100 pictures of bricks, bricks, alley, bulldozer in alley, bricks, door, cocktails, train tracks, bricks, another door, some more bricks, rusty fence, pine cone, pine tree, stick, grass, broken pine cone, clump of sap, bricks and bricks. When I whittle that down to just 50, it’s going to be the most interesting collection of brick photos this instructor has ever seen.
In my tireless pursuit of becoming drunk, my friend Natasha and I decided to begin taking wine tasting classes last week as well. I found that even in wine tasting, I still want to be the best student. After our first sip, the instructor asked us what we tasted.
I swished and swirled and smacked my tongue and said, “I get a definite pear taste, followed by a citrus finish.”
She kind of nodded patronizingly and said, “Okay, so what else?”
Then Nat chimes in with, “I don’t know… it tastes kind of herby to me.”
The teacher flashed her a huge smile and said, “Excellent! There is a delicate basil undertone in this one! Very good!”
I was like, Herby? That’s not even a word.
Then we moved on to reds and I tried to redeem myself by calling out the strong blackberry in the Sangiovese we were drinking, but before I could swallow, Natasha yelled, “It tastes like dinner!”
The teacher just about jumped over the table to congratulate Nat on her sophisticated palate, because apparently there was something meaty and spicy in this wine that few people can pick up on.
Clearly, I was not meant to be the Wine Tasting 101 teacher’s pet. My only saving grace was that the teacher had to keep yelling at Nat for holding the glass by the bowl. If you could meld Natasha’s keen sense of taste with my unparalleled ability to hold a glass by the stem, you would have the most unstoppable oenophile this country has ever seen.
Nat says we should take master sommelier classes. I’m not so sure she’s wrong. Think of all the amazing photos I could take – wine bottle, cork, cork, corkscrew, wine glass, bigger wine glass, cork, table, white wine glass, cork and cork.
Filed under: General on April 22nd, 2008
April 21st, 2008 at 10:25 pm
Wow, a master sommelier class sounds spectacular. I thought you had to be, like, a black-belt in wine before you could do something like that, though. I’ve got a lot of wine-y background, but not enough to look at someone and say, ‘If you pair that wine with that food, I will destroy you’. Because isn’t that what sommeliers do? Save people from making poor wine choices? They’re like superheros.
April 21st, 2008 at 10:25 pm
Wow, a master sommelier class sounds spectacular. I thought you had to be, like, a black-belt in wine before you could do something like that, though. I’ve got a lot of wine-y background, but not enough to look at someone and say, ‘If you pair that wine with that food, I will destroy you’. Because isn’t that what sommeliers do? Save people from making poor wine choices? They’re like superheros.
April 21st, 2008 at 11:19 pm
All that brick talk and none for us to see?
April 22nd, 2008 at 12:14 am
I took a wine-tasting thing once and my palate is totally unrefined. I just gulped every glass down and said, “What’s next?”
April 22nd, 2008 at 7:18 am
sir: indeed, you should be a black belt in wine tasting. and you should also have the $5000 and 8 weeks it takes you to fly to NYC and take the sommelier course. natasha likes to dream big.
claire: i know – i’m such a brick tease. but actually, i’m terrified to load the photos onto my pc until after class because i’m afraid i’ll accidentally erase them from my memory card, which is what we need to turn in for our assignment.
karl: yeah, i don’t think i have such a refined palate either. but at least i’m kind of learning why i like what i like.
April 22nd, 2008 at 1:05 pm
You’re not supposed to hold it by the bowl? What… and I bet they said you’re not supposed to drink it right from the bottle, either?! *sheesh*
April 22nd, 2008 at 3:12 pm
I love that you’re taking all these classes. Are there any cute guys in any of them, or is all just about wine and bricks?
April 22nd, 2008 at 3:49 pm
Hm. I would suck at wine tasting. It’s awesome that you are trying new stuff. When I was on the road, I couldn’t do anything. I have had no excuse over the last year, but I did start managing my sci-fi group.
I need to get out and make more friends. At least I have three now IRL.
April 22nd, 2008 at 7:07 pm
Hey! I’ve just begun my photography class, too. It’s great fun! And I’ve learned the art of metering…though, holy mother of all that’s holy, it sure is easier (and about 15,000x faster) to use the automatic function!
You must share pictures. I like bricks. And corks. (Heh. Corks.)
April 22nd, 2008 at 9:35 pm
Skip the wine, go straight for the vodka—you can mix it with so many things—cranberry juice (delightfully fruitly), orange juice (burst of sunshine with ‘pulpy’ undertone), seltzer (simple, yet zippy)……
April 23rd, 2008 at 9:52 pm
I have the same problem with wines.
With my favorite wine I could always taste the “Pink” but not the “Tickle” that was advertised on the bottle.
And while I’d always end up talking like a country bumpkin after a bottle, Country Kwencher did very little to quench my thirst.
April 24th, 2008 at 12:43 pm
Ugh, who wants wine that tastes like meat? I’ll stick with the blackberries, thank you. Then again, I’m the girl who just blogged about liking Manishewitz. It has a strong undercurrent of grape soda concentrate.
April 24th, 2008 at 10:12 pm
shari: bunch of snobs. i suppose they don’t think you should do tapper hits from the wine boxes either.
churlita: wine tasting = mostly women. photography = even split. but both of them are full of really cool people, so it’s been a good ride.
absurdist: whoa… back up. sci-fi group? if you haven’t met them already, you’re going to get along real well with dave2, vahid and dustin in philly!
chase: yeah, some of this is making my head spin a bit, but it’s good fun!
robin: mmm. but where do i find a vodka tasting class?
delmer: it’s the “k” in kwencher that’ll mess you up every time.
cheryl: one of the best wines i’ve had in ages was described as a “fizzy red” by the sommelier. and indeed, it was fizzy and red. ain’t nothing wrong with manishewitz!