Goodbye, City Life
I don’t know how to say this other than to just come right out with it: I’ve been cheating on you. I’ve started a secret blog. In fact, it’s so secret that when I just tried to pull it up, Blogger said it didn’t exist, but that was just because I forgot the URL. It’s that secret.
My new secret blog is actually a joint venture with my friends Natasha and Dee-Dee, except that Dee-Dee still hasn’t accepted my invite to co-author it and probably forgot that we started it, so it’s really just a secret blog between Nat and me. It’s that secret.
I don’t want anyone to feel hurt, but it’s just that there are some things going on in my head right now that I can’t talk about on this site. Secret things. Things that involve my hopes and dreams.
Okay, fine – I can’t keep this from you any longer: I want to buy a farm. My friends and I have dreams of one day trading in the hustle-bustle of city life for a calmer, quieter existence, living off the land. I want to live like the pioneers did, milking cows and piling hay into big stacks and rendering lard. But I want plumbing and WiFi. So it’s kind of a survivalist website, where Natasha and I mostly just post links to sites to learn how to can peaches. Next month we’re taking a cheese-making class. After that I want to take bee-keeping or animal husbandry. It’s a start.
Anyway. I just wanted you to know, because maintaining this secret blog has really been eating at me. Not eating at me like something really bad like the deformed bear from that movie, Prophecy, but definitely eating at me like something annoying that you can’t quite locate, like a deer tick.
Oh, I feel so much better now that I don’t have to keep living this lie. My name is Jenny and I want to grow stuff and then kill stuff and eat that stuff. And maybe sell some of that other stuff at a farmer’s market. And I won’t be ashamed any longer.
Filed under: General on October 20th, 2008
October 20th, 2008 at 12:17 am
Oh! Oh! Can I come stay at your farm??
October 20th, 2008 at 12:28 am
Ah, so you’ve entered your commune phase then.
Just promise me you won’t render lard. Please, baby? I know we’ve had our issues. Maybe you thought I didn’t trust you enough with the Puppet Biker after your proposal, so you acted out to get my attention. You’ve got it now.
Tell me what I can do. I know how to tie a few knots and after watching Crusoe, I totally want to live in a treehouse with lots of gadgets involving pulleys. I bet I could make some of those.
October 20th, 2008 at 5:29 am
My name is Jenny and I want to grow stuff and then kill stuff and eat that stuff.
there is nothing about this sentence that doesn’t sound AWESOME.
October 20th, 2008 at 6:49 am
abigail: we’re probably going to open a bed & breakfast eventually, so you can totally stay!
claire: but… if we don’t render lard, how will we make fancy oatmeal/lavender soaps? and we’ll definitely need lots of levers and pulleys in the barn, so keep practicing!
kat: killing stuff really is AWESOME.
October 20th, 2008 at 8:50 am
shhhhhh!
October 20th, 2008 at 8:53 am
Hey, heck with soaps…if you DO render that lard, I’ll be happy to come over and make pie crust and biscuits with it. Light, flakey, tender…heavenly!!
October 20th, 2008 at 10:08 am
Can I tend the rabbits?
Signed,
Lennie – errr…Jess
October 20th, 2008 at 11:47 am
You’re ready to move to Wenatchee!! Yay!!
October 20th, 2008 at 1:46 pm
I make cheese! For real! I have a bunch in the basement refrigerator chilling and ageing(that looks to me like I spelled it wrong but aging looks wrong too…English is hard). Are you really taking a cheesemaking class?
October 20th, 2008 at 2:58 pm
You should definitely move to Iowa. We have all kinds of that stuff going on here. I can show you how to do a prairie burn if you want to keep some of your land all natural.
October 20th, 2008 at 3:01 pm
Animal husbandry?
Are you sure you know what you’re getting into here? Do you realize how messy a thing ‘husbanding’ animals can be? How damaging to the psyche it would be to watch a bull ‘husband’ the living shit out of a cow? I grew up around farms. I’ve seen things, man.
October 20th, 2008 at 3:01 pm
Animal husbandry?
Are you sure you know what you’re getting into here? Do you realize how messy a thing ‘husbanding’ animals can be? How damaging to the psyche it would be to watch a bull ‘husband’ the living shit out of a cow? I grew up around farms. I’ve seen things, man.
October 20th, 2008 at 4:15 pm
I don’t mind the countryside, as long as it doesn’t attack. I cheer you on from afar, dude.
October 20th, 2008 at 5:28 pm
nat: i had to tell!
fiorello: mmm… homemade biscuits and pie? i’ll render more lard than you can handle!
jess: well, you do have experience with rabbits. it’s a deal!
shari: do you have goats in wenatchee? and honey?
tori: cool – you’re actually making aged cheese? what kind – cheddar? mmm… cheddar!
churlita: if i can start fires under the guise of preservation, that sounds like the life for me.
sir: well, maybe i’ll start out with bee husbandry, because bee sex is probably really tender and fuzzy, not like sweaty cow sex.
tracy lynn: i’ll send you some goat jerky.
October 20th, 2008 at 7:31 pm
I can see you as a bee keeper, actually. I like the idea of farm life but then I think about all the chores and wonder if I’d cave under the pressure.
October 20th, 2008 at 8:05 pm
Throughout my 20s I really loved cement, especially if it was all tagged up or somehow apocalyptic looking. But lately trees and flowers just seem…healthier to me. It scares me very much.
October 23rd, 2008 at 8:44 pm
You should come up to Madison Wisconsin. Seriously. And talk to our market farmers. It will either push you to run away from city crap and never look back, or not.
I’m happy to sell you on cheesemaking. Come visit! And btw, use goat’s milk. Visit Dreamfarm or Fantome and talk to the goatkeepers.
Can’t you just see yourself tending goats? They are SO friendly!
October 25th, 2008 at 3:57 pm
You can “grow stuff and kill stuff then eat that stuff” in the city too… you just need a landlord with a VERY forgiving rental contract. I’m hunting a moose in my kitchen as I write this…