Crossroads – An Opinion Poll
As if it sensed my desire to return to simpler farming ways, my cell phone is trying to cut itself out of my life by contracting a fatal disease. I think it has avian bone syndrome, because if I touch it the wrong way, it dies. When I close the phone, it dies. If I make more than one call without immediately recharging it, it dies.
I went into the Sprint store this weekend to get a new battery, and they looked at me like I had ripped a rotary phone out of the wall, dangling cords and all, slammed it down on the counter and asked them to show me how to text message from it.
“Uhh, yeah. We don’t carry batteries for that model anymore.”
Of course they don’t, because I bought the phone there A WHOPPING 18 MONTHS AGO so clearly the technology is now long since obsolete. Why on earth would I think they might actually stock batteries for the Samsung Paleozoic 2200?
“Yeah… and the batteries cost about $60, so you might just want to think about getting a new phone.”
AHA! The truth comes out. Self-destructing phones that keep you forever bound to the carrier because there’s still six months left on your contract so you have no choice but to stick with them and sign another 2-yr agreement. EVIL GENIUSES DAMN YOU TO HELL!
Well, sometimes I’m just fine biting off my nose to spite my face, so I may just say screw you to Sprint and get all mavericky. That’s where I need some advice, though.
Do I:
a) Get a new regular phone with a different carrier
b) Get a Blackberry
c) Get an iPhone
d) Get the Google phone
e) Get a 1981 Magnum PI mobile phone (with bag) at the Goodwill and find some tech geeks to rig it to work
f) Get that prepaid phone I saw hanging by the batteries in the Jewel-Osco
g) Keep my phone on life support long enough for my contract to expire, and then ask you guys again what I should do
h) Reject all forms of electronic communication in favor of letter writing
What say you?
Filed under: General on October 22nd, 2008
October 22nd, 2008 at 8:27 am
You know what a technophile I am [ignore raucous laughter ensuing]. Therefore my opinion on these things has nothing whatsoever to do with which phone(s) may best suit your needs, and EVERYTHING to do with outrage at Sprint for being pain-in-the-ass-ish. (Well, outrage + my own desire to get everyone I like onto a Verizon plan so that I can text message them limitlessly.)
SO…
Any of the options a) thru d) are fine with me so long as they come with Verizon, and thank you for asking my reasoned opinion.
October 22nd, 2008 at 8:45 am
Have you tried ebay for a replacement phone or battery? If that fails, go with the bag phone, or something at least the size of a brick.
October 22nd, 2008 at 9:02 am
iPhone! Can’t go wrong with all the Apple-y goodness.
October 22nd, 2008 at 9:19 am
ugh, that blows! so if they can’t get you another battery, can you get a different phone or would you have to pay for it? if getting a new phone is cheaper than a new battery – go that route… if getting a battery is cheaper – do that and then cancel the plan when your contract is up… it’s not worth the hassle even though you’ll be putting out $$$ either way…
personally, i don’t use my cellphone enough to warrant a blackberry or iPhone – seems like too much stuff for just a phone… who needs to be distracted more than they already are these days…
October 22nd, 2008 at 10:31 am
iPhone. No doubt about it. You need to be one of the cool kids like me and Dave and Britt.
October 22nd, 2008 at 10:39 am
Hang in there until your contract expires and then see what meets your needs best.
October 22nd, 2008 at 11:47 am
I got a blackberry curve about 4 months ago, and I LOVE it.
It never craps out on me, the phone quality is good, the interface is easy. I love it lots. Can you tell?
The downside is it’s pretty boring looking, but, you can get little phone condoms for them. They’re these silicone things that provide a tiny bit of shock absorption if you drop it (not that I would ever do such a thing, really, honest, never) and you can get them in fun colours. Mine is orange, it was a toss up for me between the orange and the hot pink.
October 22nd, 2008 at 12:28 pm
shari: ooh – would i get to be in your fave 5 (or is that T-Mobile)? because i want to be one of your faves!
karen: i can actually just order them from the sprint site. it’s become a matter of principle now!
gary: i have TOTAL iphone envy whenever i see people with them.
jodi: see – that’s my problem, too. i’m not on my cell phone a lot, but i would love to have a phone with GPS and web access, which is why the blackberry/iphones are so appealing.
avitable: i’m pretty sure i’ll never be cool enough to get into that club, but i’d look pretty badass trying!
finn: you are the good, practical angel on my shoulder. i’m sure that’s what i’m going to do anyway… sigh. being responsible is so boring.
mainja: orange phone condoms? where do i sign up?!
October 22nd, 2008 at 12:54 pm
Look at Amazon for the spare batt. I found one for my Paleoproterozoic phone (~5 yrs old) for ~$10 including shipping. I bet you’d find several options for yours.
October 22nd, 2008 at 12:55 pm
p.s. I thought Magnum only had a car phone.
October 22nd, 2008 at 1:08 pm
I agree about Verizon. My battery was being all wonky and I went in and the guy just gave me a new one, even though I was a few weeks past the warranty date. Their customer service is great.
October 22nd, 2008 at 1:14 pm
honestly i miss the old cup and string days. Seriously, can we just go back to TWO GIRLS TWO CUPS?
October 22nd, 2008 at 1:51 pm
Ebay!!! batteries for less than $10 w/shipping
October 22nd, 2008 at 3:00 pm
I hear hoop skirts can be surprisingly comfortable in hot AND cold weather.
October 22nd, 2008 at 4:13 pm
I posted this comment with my iPhone. Isn’t that just the bees knees!
October 22nd, 2008 at 5:32 pm
I love my iPhone but I cannot tell a lie…if I had known there was no copy/paste feature when I bought it, I may have gone with a Blackberry.
I mean, but that’s me…the freak.
October 22nd, 2008 at 6:01 pm
Oh, I’m so glad to hear this. Jenny my child, I just read about the link between cell phone usage and brain cancer. YOW….
My vote is for dumping that instrument of the devil and taking up letter writing. Goes along with that farm you are yearning for, right?
October 22nd, 2008 at 8:09 pm
Write letters. Not only is it Klassy with a capital ‘K’, it’ll also screw all the cell phone companies out of grabbing your hard-earned dollar and spending it on whores and cocaine (don’t act surprised…deep down, you knew that’s what they were doing with it).
October 22nd, 2008 at 8:09 pm
Write letters. Not only is it Klassy with a capital ‘K’, it’ll also screw all the cell phone companies out of grabbing your hard-earned dollar and spending it on whores and cocaine (don’t act surprised…deep down, you knew that’s what they were doing with it).
October 22nd, 2008 at 11:01 pm
Two tins cans and a piece of string. Decoupage the cans all fancy like–you’ve got yourself a new phone.
If you are not that crafty…go with with the Magnum bag phone.
October 23rd, 2008 at 5:13 am
I would say the iphone but that would cause me to be jealous so i am gonna say the magnum phone bag, so I can laugh and mock
btw – A magnum phone was my first mobile- no joke
October 23rd, 2008 at 6:40 am
Totally the Magnum phone!
October 23rd, 2008 at 7:37 am
claire: i’ll give it a shot – anything less than $60 will be a deal!
churlita: plus they have the “can you hear me now” guy, so there’s that.
brandon: i felt so sick when you just said that.
tony: where have i been? how come everyone except me knows about this thing called the internet for shopping?
don: and incredibly flattering, too!
toast: all your iphones are belong to me!
hilly: OMG – are you crazy? what’s dave going to say if he reads your comment? this could be the end of your friendship!
MOM: dodged another bullet. just don’t tell me if they link the internet to brain cancer. i don’t want to know.
sir: sweet. now i can go back to spending my hard earned money on cocaine and whores, just like the good old days.
robin: ooh – decoupage! who needs those fancy cell phone cases?
libragirl: NO WAY! were you a detective? a movie star? i thought only celebrities had those giant phones when they first came out!
kapgar: maybe libragirl will let me borrow her old one…
October 23rd, 2008 at 2:25 pm
http://i45.photobucket.com/albums/f62/hi_fi_carli/TomSelleck.jpg
I think that says it all.
October 24th, 2008 at 4:22 pm
I just bought a Tilt, because my old phone, the Crapmaster 3000, was a total prick. So I showed him, and apparently myself, by hemorrhaging money all over the ATT store. VICTORY.
October 24th, 2008 at 6:26 pm
iPhone once your Sprint shackles are off.
Until then, hit Craigslist. Someone will have some cheapass thing you buy cheep, then pass on when you acquire the greatest handheld computational device known to man.
October 26th, 2008 at 3:48 pm
Get an iPhone! Just because I want one. For no other reason than that.
November 6th, 2008 at 5:47 pm
I vote for the Blackberry Curve if you haven’t already decided. I also advise T-mobile. That is all.