Curse
It’s hard to have so many unfulfilled dreams, because sometimes, when you’re all alone and rooting around in the dark, you trip over all the skeletons. Although, maybe that’s the wrong metaphor, because skeleton implies something that once was alive, but is now long since dead. And if these dreams are unfulfilled, they never really came to life in the first place, did they? So maybe I’m tripping over zygotes. Little piles of dried up fertilized eggs. Yeah, plus I think that’s way more dramatic.
Anyway, the zygote I kicked the other day was the result of a discussion I had with my friend Dr. Greene several years ago. I’m sure the idea came to us over a phone conversation during the America’s Next Top Model commercial breaks. It was at the height of the LOLCats craze, and I remember us talking about how we needed to take that concept to the next level. A fiercer level.
Before Tyra had even revealed which of the girls before her was still in the running toward becoming America’s Next Top Model, the seed had germinated: we would create LOLGreedo. We’d set up a website and soon thereafter, Star Wars geeks everywhere would be sending in their own homemade LOLGreedos, and then we’d sell ad revenue, and get to meet Harrison Ford, and then we could buy more Greedo action figures, and make more LOLGreedos, and move to a chateau in the south of France, and then stop doing LOLGreedo because it would be way over by then, and give me a break, like they even know who Greedo is in France.
So anyway. I didn’t have a white board back then, so that’s partly why the idea never took off. But we did manage to make a few prototypes that I recently stumbled across in my “Unfulfilled Dreams: 1998-2006″ folder:
If only I’d had that white board back then… I’d be all, “Au revoir, suckers! Moi, je suis riche!”
Filed under: General on December 18th, 2008
December 18th, 2008 at 10:55 pm
Greedo’s kind of a creepy action figure, isn’t he?
Also, I bet they wouldn’t get your white board reference in France either.
December 18th, 2008 at 11:28 pm
Genius. I would totally have helped you with the web design for this and we could all have been millionaires by now.
(Do you have LOLSkywalkers in that file of yours? Because I’m already thinking “O Noes! You cutted off my hand!”
December 19th, 2008 at 12:04 am
What else was in that folder? Are you ever going to daylight the contents?
December 19th, 2008 at 12:43 am
I’m teaching my children that having a white board is the true secret to success and happiness.
December 19th, 2008 at 6:52 am
claire: once you get to know him, he’s very charming. and yeah – the french totally don’t have white boards. lame.
vahid: LOLSkywalker is totally genius! do you have a luke action figure? get one, pronto! and LOLDarth – “Oh hai. i iz ur father!”
asia: big ideas, little ideas… so many ideas. i’m working on my theme for 2009 – maybe it should be “focus.”
shari: that’s why you’re a rockstar mom. those kids will be running this country before they reach 30.
December 19th, 2008 at 8:47 am
I dunno… I always thought LOLChewbacca was an idea waiting to happen. I mean, imagine the possibilities! I CAN HAZ RAAAWR RAR RAAAAAAWWWRR?!?
December 19th, 2008 at 9:08 am
Leaning toward the more obscure references, if you could find Leia and Gov Tarkin action figures, you could set up a little diorama where Leia points to Tarkin with the caption U HAZ FOUL STENCH!
December 19th, 2008 at 9:26 am
Damn right Han shooted first!
December 19th, 2008 at 10:10 am
dave2: perfect! and i know you’re such a fan of the LOL genre…
sir: i love it! but… now you guys are giving me way too many fun ideas, and don’t you see? the ideas folders are already full!
kapgar: amen! we all saw it!
December 19th, 2008 at 11:47 am
LOLadmiralakbar- itz a trapz! Does that work? I don’t know the lolspeak too well, I may be speaking like Golum. I can haz the precious?
December 19th, 2008 at 2:50 pm
Drag. France would have been so much better than an ice and/or snow storm.
December 19th, 2008 at 4:40 pm
nat: totally works. although LOLLOTR is also an interesting idea… “oh hai mr. frodoz. magic ring, u haz it?”
churlita: yeah, but they don’t even have the internet in france. what are you gonna do all day except eat cheese and drink wine? oh wait…
December 22nd, 2008 at 6:10 pm
Emo would try to find a Greedo in heat and put it on Youtube so that it looks like it’s saying “oh Don pian…o” Emo don’t bother these folks with that, you know it’s just you have this thing about cats. What- they make me sneeze. I bet Greedos don’t make me sneeze. Well how do you know have you ever been next to one? No but I’ve beem to Pittsburgh… once.
December 23rd, 2008 at 8:09 am
kiefer and emo: it scares me that i know exactly what you’re talking about.