(Com)Postscript
I tried to explain it to you, and you had all sorts of advice.
“Make soup!”
“Banana potato smoothies!”
“Jack LaLanne Power Juicer!”
“Throw them in the compost heap!”
“Get some chickens!”
Look, I’m not saying this wasn’t good advice, or that I didn’t appreciate the suggestions. It was all very helpful and well-intentioned – every bit of it. Except the chickens part, because seriously, do I need to remind you of the story of the little old lady who swallowed a fly?
So I buy a bunch of chickens to eat up the vegetables, next thing you know I need a skulk of foxes to kill the chickens, and then some British guys on horses to kill the foxes, followed by a dozen or so Revolutionary War re-enactors to kill the British guys, and for the love of god, we all know that nothing can kill a Revolutionary War re-enactor – they’re worse than cockroaches, people!
Look, I think you need to fully understand what I’m up against with this vegetable co-op trap I’ve fallen into, and words alone just don’t do it justice. So BEHOLD:
This is one week’s worth of vegetables. I don’t have time to even think about cooking any of these until this weekend, and by then, I’m only three days away from ANOTHER BUSHELFUL OF VEGETABLES! It’s like I’m Sisyphus, but instead of a giant boulder, I’m pushing a rotting cantaloupe up that hill every day from now through eternity. Or at least for another seven weeks.
O mighty Zeus! Hear my pleas! I beg of you… the torrent of jalapenos and tomatillos is crushing my very soul! Have mercy – make it stop!
Filed under: General on August 6th, 2009
August 6th, 2009 at 9:11 am
I once got involved in the organic co-op vegetable thing, sharing a weekly box with a couple of people, and it was still too many. I like my veggies and all, but I like them sans bugs and rotty parts.
August 6th, 2009 at 11:18 am
Augh, the humanity! For the love of all things holy, Jenny, make friends with your dumpster. Do it now. You’ll thank me someday.
August 6th, 2009 at 12:47 pm
Photo seems unavailable. Perhaps your readership has grown too huge?
August 6th, 2009 at 1:38 pm
WOW, that’s a lot of stuff for one person!
Maybe next year you and at least 3 friends should share a share!?!? Or haul this stuff to a food pantry and take the price of the share off your taxes as a charitable donation???
August 6th, 2009 at 2:20 pm
OK, nix on the chickens. Do you have a bathtub? I hear worm farming can be very rewarding.
August 6th, 2009 at 5:00 pm
Two words. Salsa. Pickles.
Then you can ship both to me.
August 6th, 2009 at 5:34 pm
Firstly, I never suggested you put potato in a smoothie. Cantaloupe-kale might be potable. …if you had a blender…
I’ll concede that is a lot of veggies though. Perhaps a weekly dinner party on Thursdays where you can send guests off with excess, or pass on what you won’t eat on Friday to friends, coworkers, neighbors…
August 6th, 2009 at 10:21 pm
Fuck that shit, dude, you should start bringing that shit into work and giving it to coworkers. Or the local food bank. Or the bum on the corner. Jesus, that’s a lot of veg. I need to go lie down now.
August 7th, 2009 at 12:12 am
i can’t even imagine what i would do with all of those! we are growing some veggies in our backyard and half the time i let the tomatoes rot on the vine before i have a chance to pay attention to them!
happy eating!
August 7th, 2009 at 12:30 am
Beautiful veggies!!
August 7th, 2009 at 2:58 am
That is a lot of cucumber for one person! And what are the roundish things on the bottom left of the picture? An old work colleague of mine would bring in her surplus ‘veggie box’ goods, and then we all got to smell them rotting in the corner of the kitchen. Absolutely no-one thought she was being kind.
August 7th, 2009 at 12:57 pm
You definitely need a veggie-box buddy to share the bounty with. There’s way too much green in that box. I would want my veggie box to be one half tomatoes, one half granola bars.
August 8th, 2009 at 10:25 am
karen: i know! i’m splitting this with two other people, and it’s still going bad before i can eat it all!
shari: i should’ve consulted you about 6 weeks ago…
bob: should be working now. and maybe i should invite my enormous readership over for vegetable soup?
fiorello: well, i found out there are other farms that include all sorts of fruit in their baskets. now *THAT* i could eat every week. i need to do more research next year.
don: i just shivered a little at the the thought of a bathtub full of worms.
ren: you’re so right – i have all the ingredients for some delicious salsa here!
claire: but a potato smoothie sounds a lot funnier…
tracy lynn: honestly, i’m not even sure my coworkers would eat bundles of kale. maybe if i put some ranch dressing next to it.
natalie: i can eat all the corn, cucumbers and tomatoes every week, but i’m just not a big fan of zucchini or yellow squash.
pants: they make a nice still life, that’s for sure.
serap: those are tomatillos. i’m going to try to make some salsa out of them. don’t know what else to do with them.
cheryl: that’s just it – i do have a box buddy, and together we still can’t finish these! i need to stop talking about it, and try to actually make some soup this weekend. we’ll see how that goes.
August 8th, 2009 at 3:07 pm
Set up a veggie stand outside your house and make a profit off of it. Capitalism at its best.
August 9th, 2009 at 9:25 pm
Slice up the tomatillos and lay them on top of some tilapia fillets. Bake or skillet or even good old George Foreman grill, and it makes for some good fish taco filling.
August 9th, 2009 at 10:10 pm
laura: i had the exact same thought last week as i was lugging away that 30lb box…
karen: how about i just pay you to come cook for me, because that sounds delicious! what do you charge?
August 10th, 2009 at 4:09 pm
I can safely assume that most of that stuff was grown in filthy dirt, gross. Who would eat anything that grows in worm-poo-laden earth? Don’t get me started on the disgusting fungi.
Where are the jars of honey? Hmmm delicious bee vomit…
August 10th, 2009 at 8:05 pm
I call dibs on the tomatillos.