Farmed out
Oh, god. It’s almost Wednesday again, isn’t it? There was a time when I looked forward to Wednesdays with giddy anticipation, but not anymore. Now it’s a sense of guilt and dread that overwhelms me every Tuesday night.
You see, Wednesdays are vegetable pick-up day at the farmer’s market in my neighborhood. Earlier this summer, my friend Natasha and I were inspired to change our lives and become better citizens of the planet by eating locally, so we bought a “share” of a local farm that participates in community supported agriculture. So each week for three months we receive a box of fresh vegetables, whatever is in season at the moment.
Week One:
Kale
Turnip greens
Cabbage
Potatoes
Tomatoes
Onions
Yellow Squash
Zucchini
Week Two:
Kale
Turnip greens
Cantaloupe
Cucumbers
Potatoes
Tomatoes
Onions
Yellow Squash
Zucchini
Week Three:
Kale
Turnip greens
Cantaloupe
Cucumbers
Tomatoes
Yellow Squash
Zucchini
Sweet corn
Jalapeno peppers
Green beans
Week Four:
Wait… has it really only been three weeks? I have nine more weeks of this? My god, somebody make it stop!
I mean, I like vegetables. Truly, I do. But I had no idea the sheer volume of produce that can fit inside a box. I’m only one person! I can’t keep up with this! And Natasha’s boyfriend Farnsworth is no help. He thinks we made our vegetable bed, so we need to lie in it.
It’s like Nat and I are Lucy and Ethel working the conveyor belt at the chocolate factory, but instead of delicious chocolates speeding down the line, it’s just kale. Bunches and bunches of kale. Do you know how much kale one person can eat in a week? My colon sure does, but that’s a story for another day.
Plus, I don’t even know how to cook kale. I had to look it up online and you know what? Every single recipe involves bacon drippings. Where do I buy bacon drippings? Is there a used lard store I can swing by on the way home from work?
I want to make a giant pot of soup and just throw everything in it all at once so I don’t have to look the farmer in the eye tomorrow and lie to him once again when he asks how I’m enjoying all the vegetables.
And here’s the other thing about fresh vegetables: they rot really, really fast. If I don’t cook the vegetables immediately, they start decomposing within hours. By Saturday, my apartment is like one giant compost heap. I picked up the cantaloupe three days after delivery and my thumb punched through the rind, straight into its oozing core. I screamed like a little girl. Do you hear what I’m saying? Fresh vegetables made me scream in horror. HORROR!
It’s almost like I wish there were something they could do to the vegetables to make them last longer. Like, if there were something you could add to them – maybe some sort of chemical – that could preserve them so they had a longer shelf life. Or, even if they can’t be preserved in the refrigerator, maybe the farm could cut the vegetables up into little pieces and flash freeze them in tiny bags for me that I could keep in my freezer until I really needed them. It would be cool if they put cooking instructions on the back of the bags, too. Another idea would be for them to pre-cook the vegetables, sterilize them and store them in something like tins cans that I could put in my pantry for years on end.
These are just some ideas I might submit to the farm’s website for future improvements. Because I would totally love my locally produced, farm fresh vegetables if they would just make these few minor changes.
Filed under: General on July 28th, 2009
July 28th, 2009 at 9:32 am
Know what keeps for a long time in the freezer and is always delicious?
Meat. Sweet protein-rich, life-giving meat.
July 28th, 2009 at 10:06 am
Kale is yummy! I like cooking it with some olive oil and onions. As much as I enjoy bacon, I don’t need it in everything.
July 28th, 2009 at 10:54 am
You just have to get bossy with vegetables, especially the farm-fresh sort. They’re cheeky. We did the whole farm-share thing about 7 years ago, and even with a family we were outnumbered and completely out-gunned by the produce box. Surrender is remarkably pain-free, because vegetables can’t retaliate when you’re walking away from the rubbish bin.
Since then, we’ve started our own manageably-sized garden where we’re the boss of the vegetables and NOT the other way around.
July 28th, 2009 at 4:45 pm
GREEN BAGS. They keep vegetables fresh for like ever.
July 28th, 2009 at 5:55 pm
Why would you want to pass up the goodness of bacon itself and just get drippings?
Also, I have not tried these, but you can make shakes/smoothies with kale.
Smoothie: banana, pineapple, handful of kale or spinach or any green veggie, fresh squeezed orange juice (un-pasteurized), then blend. Can add ice if you want it thicker.
Green shake: 1 banana, handful of kale or spinach, couple ice cubes, some water (depends how thick you want it). Blend banana, ice, & water first, then add kale. Supposed to be really good for you for breakfast. Can mix it up with other fruit if you want, mango, e.g. (roughly 60% fruit to 40% leafy greens)
Let me know if you try it.
July 28th, 2009 at 5:59 pm
Three little words:
Jack LaLane Juicer
Fastest way to get rid of produce I can think of….
July 28th, 2009 at 6:58 pm
So, what you’re saying is that veggies are gross and evil? That’s it. I’m sticking with fat, sugar and starchy carbs from now on.
July 28th, 2009 at 7:35 pm
Olive Garden Zuppa
http://www.recipezaar.com/Olive-Garden-Copycat-Zuppa-Toscana-38298
potatoes & kale
July 29th, 2009 at 7:16 am
sir: vegetables are for losers.
sizzle: that’s exactly how i’ve been preparing it, and it is yummy, but just… not every week.
shari: you have a really good point. why am i letting some stupid onion tell me what i can and cannot eat?
tracy lynn: really? i’m going to need to look into that!
claire: that would probably require me to buy a blender, wouldn’t it? my plans for living the simple life are quickly falling apart.
fiorello: if that thing wasn’t such a god awful mess to clean up, i might use it more often. but the idea of corn+cucumber+jalapeno+squash juice isn’t sounding all that tempting to me right now.
churlita: i’d like to introduce you to my friend, “you can call me sir.” you two should hang out, and then invite me over for a dinner party.
christie: that actually sounds pretty tasty! except i need to find a recipe that incorporates every single ingredient (except the cantaloupe – that’s just gross) so I can dump it all in a pot every wednesday and be done with these vegetables and their relentless nagging.
July 29th, 2009 at 11:32 am
The answer is right before you, and you know it, you just don’t know you know it. But your subconscious is screaming — SCREAMING — and you are this >< close to hearing it. I know you are, because of the picture you posted. Let me be blunt. Halfway through your tale of woe I started thinking what I would do. What I WOULD do, but can NOT do. I can NOT because over the winter, local possums and/or raccoons invaded our enclosure and destroyed our very efficient vegetable-matter disposal units. We have not yet replaced them due to other issues. However, YOU know you need them, because you prefaced this post with a beautiful picture. Yes! The light is coming on! [Don Pardo voice] Jen, hopefully you have a second bedroom, because you need about half a dozen chickens!
July 29th, 2009 at 10:36 pm
I say chuck the veggies and sign up for a service that delivers Pop Tarts, Oreos and Twizzlers. You won’t have to worry about them rotting and they have no nutritional value whatsoever. Problem solved.
July 30th, 2009 at 7:42 am
don: my god, you’re so right! will you be my life coach? i can pay you one box of vegetables a week!
robin: wait… is there really such a service? and why am i just learning about this now?!?!?!
July 30th, 2009 at 2:15 pm
Compost them and then sell the compost back to the farm next year in exchange for your weekly purchases.
July 30th, 2009 at 6:55 pm
laura: that’s genius! my friend natasha suggested that we just pick up the box of veggies from the farmer’s market, walk to the end of the sidewalk and try to sell it for half price.
July 31st, 2009 at 8:36 pm
AK and I are contemplating doing this, although we’ll need to take your cautionary tale seriously. (Cautionary kale?)
August 3rd, 2009 at 9:40 am
I’ve been doing this too! Except it’s a service called SPUD! (I call the young delivery boys my “spudmuffins”) and every 2 weeks they deliver a box of produce. At least with these guys I can adjust the order a few days ahead but I too, find that I can’t eat everything, which causes stress, which probably undoes whatever good I’m getting from organic, local produce. And weird stuff! Weird like I don’t even know how to cook it or cut it up properly, even. What did all these weird vegetables do before people were forced to eat them?