Lice
“My project manager has lice,” she said. She had recently started a new job in a new city and was still getting to know her coworkers. “She says they don’t jump, but I heard they can jump 40 feet.”
“No, I think you’re thinking of fleas. Fleas can jump 40 feet.”
“Well, but lice can live without food for like a year, so I can never feel safe.”
“No, you’re thinking of bedbugs. They can live for a really long time without food.”
“They push around giant piles of poo.”
“Those are dung beetles.”
“They lay eggs in your eyes.”
“Hookworms.”
“They eat the head off their mate.”
“That’s a praying mantis.”
“Well, I know they have poisonous spurs.”
“Okay, that’s a platypus. Now you’re just being ridiculous.”
“What were we talking about?”
“Lice. Your coworker told you she has lice.”
“Oh, right. They can jump like 40 feet, you know?”
Filed under: General on August 10th, 2011
August 10th, 2011 at 11:39 pm
Yeah, and they give you crabs.
August 11th, 2011 at 7:33 am
I don’t think it’s healthy to know so much about that many flavors of vermin.
August 11th, 2011 at 8:30 am
For lice: Just listened to the People’s Pharmacy, they recommend Listerine (the old fashioned tan kind) applied to the scalp overnight. They say it works…
August 11th, 2011 at 9:11 am
We used to have earwigs, who, if they got in your ear, would then eat their way through your brain to exit out your other ear. We worried about them back then. I mean they were often in our thoughts.
August 11th, 2011 at 9:46 pm
don: no, you’re thinking of hookers.
sir: i just watched “microcosmos,” so ask me about how ants milk aphids for their butt nectar. no really, ask me.
bev: having tasted listerine, that does not surprise me in the least.
roy: earwigs are the second most horrific bugs in the world. cockroaches still reign supreme, though.
August 12th, 2011 at 12:40 pm
people never cease to amaze me!
August 14th, 2011 at 3:19 pm
Ew, lice.
Now my head itches.
August 15th, 2011 at 10:50 am
Aren’t you getting a bit nit picky? *groan*
In other news, dust mites look really fierce when viewed through a microscope.
August 15th, 2011 at 10:40 pm
Thanks, I just read about lice right before going to bed, where I will think about lice attacking my head and bedbugs attacking the rest of me…ick!
August 18th, 2011 at 11:01 am
All those abilities make lice seem like the unicorns of the parasite world.
September 14th, 2011 at 1:22 am
Oooh, I feel like shaving my head…
September 15th, 2011 at 4:26 pm
I just now realized you’re back in the blogosphere. Hurray! Who else could I count on to keep me posted about the talents of platypi?
October 20th, 2011 at 10:53 am
Hooray! A new post from Jen!
We had a lice scare in our house (elementary kid carriers). I had no idea they eat the head off their mate…;-)