Mr. Telephone Man

Hi, you’ve reached Jenny at 555-5555. Leave a message at the beep and I’ll call you right back!
Tuesday
10:43am: Yeah, Jimmy. Give me a call. It’s Pops.
11:24am: Jimmy – where are you? Call me. It’s Pops.
1:49pm: Yeah, uh. Tell Jimmy to call Pops. It’s Pops.
Wednesday
2:03pm: Can you have Jimmy call Pops? Yeah.
4:27pm: Hey, I need to talk to Jimmy. Have him call Pops.
Thursday
9:36am: Jimmy! Call me. It’s Pops.
8:24pm: Hi, you’ve reached Jenny at 555-5555. Leave a message at the beep and I’ll call you right back! Unless this is Pops, in which case, listen you stupid #@$%! Jimmy’s never calling you back because he’s with me now! You think you can just leave a few messages, and then pretend like nothing happened? You can’t tell him what to do anymore – he’s a grown man. Jimmy loves me and never wants to talk to you again. If you keep calling us, Jimmy will slap your ass with a restraining order so fast that your bald head will spin. And he said that if you ever want to see your grandkids aga- what’s that, Jimmy? Okay, I will. Jimmy says to tell Moms to call him.

4 Responses to “Mr. Telephone Man”

  1. Robert Says:

    Classic!
    When we first got our current number, we got phone calls for weeks–always at 2:00 or 3:00 in the morning, from the same drunk hooker, looking for one of her “clients.” Lucy, I had some ‘splainin to do!

  2. Gina Says:

    Ha! That’s so funny, because RIGHT before I read this, I got someone who called the wrong number to my cell: “Yo! What up?!”
    “Umm, yo! Who’s this?”
    *click*
    For two years, I’ve been getting women asking for Tyrone. They stopped when I started telling them stuff like, “He’s in the shower. Who the hell is this?”

  3. Dave Says:

    Hysterical!
    I apparently have the former phone number (or a digit off) of a drug dealer. On more than one occasion I’ve answered the phone and heard “Yo Bookie… you got the shit?” Excuse me??? *click* One of these days I’m gonna say: Word G, I’ve been in the john all effin day.

  4. hooizz Says:

    regulate! ha!
    i think its funny that pops not only acknowledges that you are not jimmy, but is now using you as his answering service. awesome!
    cheers
    hooizz