Long Day at Work: A Play in One Act, Oh, and By the Way, It’s an Internal Dialogue
“Who do you love more – me or the boxed wine?”
“Right now? Don’t make me choose.”
“What does the boxed wine have that I don’t have?”
“A spigot and 13.5% alcohol.”
“Damn you!”
“Glug glug glug.”
“I said damn you!”
“What? I can’t hear you over the din of cheap shiraz pouring into this juice glass.”
“You mock my pain. Never do it again!”
“Can’t you quote any other movie than Princess Bride? It’s getting old.”
“Prepare to die!”
“Hey, is there any colby jack left?”
“Bottom shelf.”
Fin.
Filed under: General on August 7th, 2008
August 7th, 2008 at 10:24 pm
That was beautiful. I’m not half that clever in my head at work. I think it’s on account of my soul getting sucked out all day.
August 7th, 2008 at 10:33 pm
Princess Bride quotes are like Bible verses; there’s one applicable for every possible life crisis.
August 8th, 2008 at 12:33 am
Boxed shiraz paired with colby jack cheese… see, that’s just a little slice of heaven right there.
August 8th, 2008 at 1:08 am
I have a spigot! But I generally top out around .o8% alcohol
August 8th, 2008 at 3:05 am
I like your brain.
August 8th, 2008 at 9:54 am
You’re apparently a very loud drinker. I’m surprised you could hear yourself over the glugs.
August 8th, 2008 at 9:54 am
You’re apparently a very loud drinker. I’m surprised you could hear yourself over the glugs.
August 8th, 2008 at 11:54 am
I move that we submit this to the Tony Award nomination committee pronto. Would be much more appealing than a revival of, say, “Days of Wine and Roses”…
August 8th, 2008 at 12:00 pm
Dear Jenny,
My favorite line was glug glug glug.
Love,
Vivian
August 8th, 2008 at 12:07 pm
Boxed wine would be entirely too dangerous. The bottle gives me a visual reminder of how much of a lush I am being.
August 8th, 2008 at 1:38 pm
churlita: boxed wine is 13.5% alcohol and 100% soul. you should try it!
ashley: it’s so true, isn’t it? i could quote that movie all day long.
shari: especially the pre-sliced colby jack cheese. all i need now is someone to put it in my mouth for me and i’ll be set.
brandon: if you’re only .08% alcohol, i’d have to drink… [calculate, calculate]… 168.75 of you to catch a buzz. wait? does that sound right?
pants: this is your brain on boxed wine.
sir: fortunately, i was wearing my noise canceling headphones.
laurel: i’d better start preparing my acceptance speech, just in case!
vivian: it was the most fun to rehearse that line.
suebob: yeah, you kind of have to go off of weight with the boxed wine, and when you’re laying on the couch with the box resting on your chest, sometimes it’s hard to gauge.
August 8th, 2008 at 3:16 pm
Sorry to hear that you had such a long day at work.
You should have heard what the olives from my martini would mockingly say to me after a long day! I had to contend with FIVE of them!
August 10th, 2008 at 10:55 am
You too???!!??
You have inner conversations like that too???
I thought I was the only one who had voices in my head at times!
I’m somehow reminded of this one quote:
“Madness does not always howl.
Sometimes, it’s the quiet voice
at the end of the day that says..
is there room in there for one more?”
~Unknown(s)
~ZZ
August 11th, 2008 at 2:39 pm
I’ve had similar discussions with myself over various alcohol types and favorite desserts. I normally give in so I don’t have to blame it on the Bluetooth-based conversation I’m having on my cell phone.